De-Stressing Not Only for the Holidays, But for Life

Recently I conducted a program for a popular bookstore in Roanoke about dealing with stress during the holidays. The program had a twist, instead of focusing on goal setting and practical tips on how to get it all done, the focus of discussion was on the process. Where can you focus your energy at any given point in time? Why are you doing it in the first place?

I simply reminded the participants that we have a limited supply of time and energy. Sooner or later both run out. The process of de-stressing begins with realizing none of us can beat these universal truths and those who try risk irreparable damage to themselves or to the people around them. So how does one cope with the stress and pressures of the holiday season?

You begin by realizing that we are powerless to change the expectations of the world around us. Christmas merchandise appears in stores earlier and earlier every year, in hopes that avid shoppers will welcome getting a jump on seasonal shopping. Our Christmas card list grows. There are parties to attend, presents to purchase and homes to decorate. If we are not careful the expectations become obligations and the spirit of the holidays quickly changes into one of fatigue and resentment. You can almost hear the internal dialogue of beleaguered shoppers, "Cross another one off the list.", "What in the world would he want? I don't even know him." Or "I'm spending so much time buying presents for other people; I don't have enough time or money to buy something for my own children!"

The expectation of living up to the Hallmark Holiday card is too great. Yet it isn't too far off from the expectations of daily living. We are pushed daily to exceed expectations, to multi-task, and squeeze a little more productivity out of every day. What is a person to do?

We can start by focusing on what we really desire. Take a few moments and close your eyes. Visualize what you really want from this holiday season. What will bring you the greatest joy? Then take that vision and decide one, two or three things you can do that will bring you closer to realizing that vision. Make a commitment to do these things. In the course of the holiday season if you have enough time and energy you can always choose to do more, but will feel that you have accomplished what you wished to accomplish which in and of itself is a stress reliever.

Take time out for yourself. Read something outside of your normal reading list. Take a walk on a starry night. Play the game of Life with your children. Get a massage or take a long bubble bath. By all means create the holiday you want.

If your vision involves baking Christmas cookies then make time to bake. If you value the gift of time spent with friends and family, do so. The choice is yours, don't let anyone else make it for you, that is a sure way to feel stress and resentful.

My list would include: Spending time with family and friends, sending cards to an ever growing list of people who have touched my life, and finding ways to keep the spirit in the holidays. Other people celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanzaa and have their own special celebrations. Still others eschew the commercial trappings of Christmas and choose to focus only on the religious significance of this special time of year. All add to the wonderful trappings of the holiday season. May you de-stress for now and the rest of the year by keeping these points in mind.

You can only do so much.
What you cannot do today can be put off.
If you forget to do something ask yourself if it was really that important anyway.
Make a list of where you spend your time.
Make another list of what brings you the greatest joy.
Match the two lists and ask yourself. Are you spending time on the things that bring you the greatest joy? If the answer is yes--wonderful. If no--why not?
If you don't get something on your holiday list completed, cheer up, there is always next year.

Merry Christmas, God Bless and have a wonderful holiday,
From Common Boundaries to You.