Work-Life Balance is a Matter of Sequencing
As a management/leadership consultant and woman who conducts programs on work-life balance, I find that many of my clients no matter the level of education, corporate status or economic situation struggle with balance as a daily issue. The stress caused from trying to find one's balance is so great that one of the biggest benefits I have found is to encourage women to share their own stories of success and failures with others. It seems that we want to know that we are not alone and are hungry for creative innovative solutions, because we realize that by the time we find something that works, a new challenge will be put in our path.
I have also noticed in the past that many businesses overlooked the value of sequencing for a woman who wanted both a career and a family. By ignoring this possibility, corporations lost out on valuable resources; employees into whom they had poured years of training and time. Women who made the often difficult decision to jump off the fast track career path did so with the knowledge they could never return-at least not with the same level of position or possibility for advancement.
This decision was costly for both. Women, who made the decision to leave during pregnancy or after a first or second child, were faced with the ambiguity of their situation after the kids grew older and didn't need them as much. These women, many in their later 30's and early 40's began to feel dissatisfied without personal or professional goals, even with quality rewarding family time. Then the guilt settles in, these women berate themselves for wanting something more when it seems like they've been able to have so much in life. Women facing these fears quite often turn to other women in similar situations for advice and support and out of these conversations are able to gather the courage and energy needed to go forward and create what they want.
Sequencing and the idea of dropping out and going back, that life is full of possibilities has helped energize the high-achieving woman who formerly thought a fast-track career path was the only way to success. As women, we are continually re-defining what it means to be successful. Is it career achievement? A happy family? Satisfying relationships? Or is it even more than that?
As women we gather together to ponder the question and realize there are few easy answers. The reality is that whatever you are afraid of will need to be recognized and dealt with sooner or later. Take my own story, for an example. After twelve years in a fast-paced well paid corporate career of management consulting, systems and investments, I left the business world to stay home at take care of my children for nine years. At first, I was terrified. I was afraid my husband would scrutinize each expenditure, and have me totally under his control. I was afraid that I would lose my power because I wouldn't be earning any income. My fears were unfounded because it didn't happen. I felt supported in my decision and that raising the children as a full-time mother was equally as important as what I had done.
Yet, as the years passed and the children grew older things changed. I felt a longing to do something more. I couldn't relate with the other women who were perfectly content to decorate their houses, I was dissatisfied. So I put my energy into activities; volunteer work with the children's school, civic committees, fund-raising, competitive athletics, always something that would take me to a goal, until I became exhausted with the doing that wasn't what I wanted to do. At that point, I decided to write and eventually created my own company, Common Boundaries Consulting & Communications to be a dynamic change agent in leadership and effective communications for corporations, organizations and individuals to be able to realize their purpose and vision. This has satisfied that longing because this action came from my heart and my own personal vision, not for anyone else. I'm able to do this now, working on my own timetable and balancing with my family. In turn, I support many other independent businesses, also doing the same.
Other women have faced decisions of sequencing. Two different attorneys, who left long hours and stress to stay home and raise their children found different solutions to their unique situations. One re-entered the work-force after going back to school to get her teaching certificate and now is a reading specialist in the public school system. The other practices arbitration two days a week and is able to pick her children up from school, while bringing in extra income to support their extra-curricular activities.
The idea of sequencing is a phenomenon that is working for many women. Large corporations are beginning to take notice. Some of the major public accounting firms hire CPAs back as managers even after they have been out of the workforce for many years, valuing their past expertise, credentials and that these women weren't stagnate for those years, that it takes a lot to organize and run a family. The reality is that more organizations need to be willing to support the idea of sequencing and that the best employees are the ones who are happy.
